In formal dress

Asked formally

What do you do?

Said the career woman

To the feminist

Stay at home Mom

Upon answering

She turned

Uninterested

Surrounded by men

Not feminists

Disdain

Both ways

Unseen

But felt

Throughout the years

Whispering answers

Worthy

Of attention

Through the decades

I whisper

I Make Things

Children

Homes

Gardens

Food

Friends

Art

History

Informally aware

Of what I have done

Liberated

Dignified

In my movement

2022

Empty coat sleeves

Dangling

in dark closets.

Swaying

Reaching

He hides

Just out of reach

Air fluttering

On the basement stairs

Behind me

Moving

Just out of reach

Lurking

Under beds

Awaiting

To drag into the abyss

Dangling ankles

Just out of reach

Don’t be silly

“He doesn’t exist”

Materializing

Into an old man

Probing

With a fluttering tongue

Desperate

To get out of reach

Don’t be

“He wouldn’t do that”

Solidifying

An idolized figure

Grabbing

Groping

Running

Out of reach

Don’t say

“He wouldn’t”

The big brother

I always wanted

Happenstance

Too close

Words

Too scary

Run away

Out of reach

Don’t worry

“She’s dramatic”

A gentleman caller

Teacher

Stalker

Declarations

Of love

Through poems

Too hard

To clarify

Right in front of

My mother’s eye

Too hard

To run away

Don’t despair

I’ve learned

To be

Out of reach

2022

In the subconsciousness of our house

I work, carefree but meticulously

Choosing flowers

Proudly chosen

For display on the dining room table of my mother’s house.

Footsteps.

I look up, tracing them with my eyes

Anticipating their destination

Always aware with some trepidation

Of where they will land.

They stop.

Change direction

Seeking me, another flower, proudly chosen.

I smile when he comes downstairs

Proud of my work, rambling about my creation.

“We need to talk” he says

A longing I’ve had for years.

A longing I thought I had until

“I no longer have feelings of love for you”

Are calmly, factually delivered to me.

My bones chill at the cold, concrete statement.

No recollection of the next words spoken

As my crafted world is blown apart.

Blurry eyed, broken hearted, bubble bursted, dead.

I go to my room

The only thing the wounded child in me was taught to do in these moments.

Choking on swallowed emotions.

Each step dizzying

in this new thin air.

Lacking oxygen

To breathe new life

Into the bubble.

A plastic Barbie doll

Being tossed aside

New toys to play with.

The plastic flowers

On display at my mother’s house

Of my private dismay.

A continuous reminder

Of flowers proudly chosen

And those tossed aside.

2020

Hey you!

Still sitting up there

In judgment

On a throne

Of illusions and lies?

Trying to invalidate

Nullify

Delegitimize

Views that don’t concur

With your own?

The air must be too thin

To breathe

In new perspectives

Or grow

Neural pathways

Too entrenched.

Bush whacking

To new conclusions

Never an attempt

A stone monument

Of antiquated notions

The world spins

Unfettered

Tilt your axis!

Shift!

Take a boundless leap!

You’re entitled.

Join me in barefoot

No one to bind

Restrain

Undo Me

Free

Empowered

To think, feel, share

Emboldened

Away from blame and despair

Privileged

To care

To love

Entitled

to fight

to be right

My Boundless Sense of Entitlement!

Freedoms and Joys

Unknown before

When I was restrained

Disallowed

Forbidden

Imprisoned

In your self righteous

Subjectivism

Of Godlike Dictates

Take a Boundless Leap!

Join us

Unrestrained

On the grounds

Of human decency

You’re entitled.

2018

Like pages in the back of a book

I am just the same

Not looked into far enough

To really know my name

Untouched pages

Of a million dreams

Fairytales and fantasies

Bursting at the seams

A million thoughts

No one ever hears

Unseen emotions

Of hopes and fears

An ugly cover

But a beautiful theme

Poorly used words to begin

To describe a beautiful dream

Like the pages in the back of a book

I am just the same

No one ever goes to the good part

To know the meaning of my name

No one reads quite far enough

To see the sparkle in my eyes

No one hears my thoughts

To know that they were wise

No one knows what’s in my smile

Or the love that’s in my heart

No one saw my fantasies

They never got to that part

No one read my values

Or knows the knowledge in my head

I’m like the pages in the back of a book

That no one ever read

~1980

Break my fantasy

Make it real

Take my heart

Make it feel

Step out of my dreams

Into my eyes

Up to my love

Away from my cries

In front of my truth

Behind my sorrow

Against my fear

Step with me tomorrow

Step softly next to me

Step closer far away

Step carefully beside me

Step with me today

Step with me into darkness

Step with me into light

Step with my into yesterdays

Step with me tonight.

~1980

Through your eyes

Through your touch

A new form of understanding

Is communicated to me

Simple expressions of love

Instead of complicated declarations

Of promises unnecessary

An unspoken trust

Of eternal friendship

Beyond words.

I do not hear you

I feel you

And so

Believe in you

~1980

In you

I find a sailboat

And although I know

Sailboats often drift

Away with the wind

Your gifts of love

Will always stay

Anchored in my heart

~1980